Elder Millennial here. I think I just have that “eww pedostache” reaction because, when I was young, such mustache styles were common among middle-aged men who hadn’t updated their styles since the '80s. Some of those men were creepy, so the mustache style became associated with creepy old men. And of course, teenaged giggling among ourselves about “eww pedostache!” really cemented the association.

I’m pretty sure our parents had the same initial reaction when we brought aviator glasses back into fashion. We’ll get over it, the cycle continues.

I’ve had good and bad experiences with mostly-male and mostly-female groups. I think it has less to do with the actual gender of the group, and more to do with: (a) the manner and extent to which group members are invested in performing their gender, (b1) whether the group embraces deviation from that performance, or (b2) whether one’s own performance of gender is similar enough to the group’s.

I’ve often described myself as “not very good at being a woman.” My weirdness and difficulty with hidden meanings has gotten me shunned by fellow women and usually bullied out of all-female groups, particularly when I was young. But as I discovered a few years ago after adopting a more active lifestyle, I get along fantastically with most women who play sports.

All-male groups were usually not much better. I still had to keep LARPing a persona, it’s just that the “cool girl” persona came easier to me. The main advantage was that mostly-male groups didn’t tend to say one thing while meaning the opposite. (For example, “stay as long as you like” actually means “you should probably go home now” and that is absolutely nonsensical to me.) But all-male groups never accepted me either, so the best case scenario meant being tolerated instead of shunned.

When it comes to work environments, it’s only been women who played the game of psychologically tormenting me until I have a breakdown and quit (although one of those was a woman boss in a mostly-male small office). So mostly-male groups have been somewhat better because I usually don’t have to waste as much brainspace on LARPing the correct persona. I still tended to be treated more as a tagalong or novelty, though, and gender isn’t a guarantee of future behavior (for example, one of my current coworkers is a man who politicks like a woman).

Unpacking

I still don’t like vertical videos. My natural field of view is landscape and portrait feels crowded and stressful. Also vertical videos have to be watched 2-3 times to see everything, because the person filming has to pan the camera so much, and they usually move too quickly. It’s like everyone forgot that a phone can be rotated.

According to my urogynecologist, who specifically instructed me to always point my shower wand downward when washing my nethers, spraying water can indeed push bacteria up there!

It may only be dangerous for the subset of women who have problems requiring a urogynecology specialist in the first place, IDK, but better safe than sorry.

It’s pretty common for people with ADHD to be able to play video games for a long time, because games are designed to make the brain pump out dopamine.

Up to you whether to get an assessment, ofc, but time blindness is a really common symptom. Your OP and others’ responses sounded really familiar to me.

Example, I recently had an argument over what a habit is. The other party claimed it’s something you do without thinking about choosing it, like muscle memory. Which I still insist is bullshit because everyone knows a habit is when you feel weird not doing the task, and the urge to avoid the wrong feeling makes you remember the task and outweighs the urge to be lazy. (Apparently this isn’t how it works for normal people?)

Have you considered getting evaluated for ADHD? (One of us, one of us!)

I was also expected to be very quiet and perfectly behaved, and have also struggled with resentment toward rowdy children as a result. Even now, at 39 years old, I sometimes want to retaliate with an Aztec death whistle.

Therapy can be really helpful in learning to deal with that resentment. If possible and reasonable, so can talking about it with your parent(s).

Several years ago I said to my mother, “I’m feeling angry right now because I’m thinking about that loud kid we saw in the store today and remembering how I had to repress myself as a child.” Then we had a really productive conversation about the pressure to defy stereotypes about poor parents, being a parent with unrecognized and unsupported neurodivergence, and sensory issues.

I hope you’re able to dissolve a significant amount of your resentment, too. In the meantime, there’s a kind of reusable earplug that reduces noise just a little bit so you can still have a conversation (can’t remember the brand name though).

I’d like to piggyback on this question and ask: if the bidet is in the toilet bowl, doesn’t it get dirty while you’re shitting?

Weird that they didn’t have her change into a gown first. Or maybe they did, in which case where did she put-- you know what never mind that’s enough internet for today

They have calories (energy) which your body needs for defending itself. So eat all the simple carbs you want, if that’s what you can stomach.

Little dogs are mean because shitty humans think “aw he’s so itsy bitsy I don’t have to train or discipline him at all!” Totally ignoring that (a) a dog needs maintenance discipline to be emotionally secure, and (b) aggressive little dogs are unhappy little dogs.

So companies will stop lying in the sizing charts, right? Right?

If the sizing chart says size M fits a 28” waist and the size M is actually 32” in the waist, their lying ass should pay the return shipping.

I always have a bowl of full-fat Greek yogurt with a spoonful of almond butter, a sprinkle of cinnamon, some collagen powder, and a little bit of maple syrup. Easy to scarf down in a hurry and keeps me satisfied for a few hours.

Not me, but it’s great for baking (a bit of coffee makes chocolate taste more chocolatey) and making nutrition shakes palatable.

Elements being so big they take up most of the screen. It makes shopping much more difficult, because you have to scroll to see more and then forget what you just saw a moment ago.

Also lazy loading. Scroll and scroll and scroll, have to stop to do something else, come back and the page has reloaded and you have to start all over.

Sucks. I liked using it to watch seasons of shows instead of signing up for multiple streaming platforms. Off to the high seas, I guess.

Yeah they’ve announced considering it a few times over the past several years but haven’t followed through until now.

I didn’t fail, and I never heard the “everyone fails once” thing. But also I learned from a private driving school, where the test was given by my regular instructor and had exactly the same vibe as all our regular practice sessions did.

Totally understandable. When I lived in a small place, I only had room for one box, so I got the biggest thing that would fit and scooped as often as possible.

That reminds me, some cats are picky about litter too, just like some humans will only wipe their ass with certain brands of toilet paper. So it’s good to find a brand they like and stick with it, but I know how hard it is to experiment when there’s only room for one box.