My family is all various flavors of neurospicy, and we’ve kind of organically developed nonverbal signals for “A thing I want to say has occurred to me; please continue, but I call the next pause.”
It’s awesome because it allows the current speaker to complete the thought without it getting derailed, and the whole group can still participate in some back-and-forth on the current thread with the understanding that we should be reaching for a conclusion so space can be made for the next speaker to insert their thought without forcing them to step on others to make that happen.
It does a really good job of keeping our conversations from reaching the level where you’re blurting things out because you feel that you aren’t guaranteed an organic space to get it out. Everyone can keep from interrupting or being interrupted by requesting the talking stick from the current speaker without implying that they’re taking up all the air.
Edit: Oh, right… The signal… An outstreched finger placed on the table like you’re pointing at a map. Gentle tap to remind. Add fingers for follow-ups :P
In my family I raise my hand while the louder ones finish their soliloquis, and then they pass the floor to me, then I start making my point, get interrupted, lose my train of thought, and they contradict themselves and get upset when I point it out.
My family is all various flavors of neurospicy, and we’ve kind of organically developed nonverbal signals for “A thing I want to say has occurred to me; please continue, but I call the next pause.”
It’s awesome because it allows the current speaker to complete the thought without it getting derailed, and the whole group can still participate in some back-and-forth on the current thread with the understanding that we should be reaching for a conclusion so space can be made for the next speaker to insert their thought without forcing them to step on others to make that happen.
It does a really good job of keeping our conversations from reaching the level where you’re blurting things out because you feel that you aren’t guaranteed an organic space to get it out. Everyone can keep from interrupting or being interrupted by requesting the talking stick from the current speaker without implying that they’re taking up all the air.
Edit: Oh, right… The signal… An outstreched finger placed on the table like you’re pointing at a map. Gentle tap to remind. Add fingers for follow-ups :P
My wife and I are also neurodiverse and this is EXACTLY what we needed based on recent conversations.
I love it!
In my family I raise my hand while the louder ones finish their soliloquis, and then they pass the floor to me, then I start making my point, get interrupted, lose my train of thought, and they contradict themselves and get upset when I point it out.