![](/static/253f0d9b/assets/icons/icon-96x96.png)
![](https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/8f2046ae-5d2e-495f-b467-f7b14ccb4152.png)
Because Texas is a fascist state and gives not a shit for consistency. The governer just pardoned a murderer because he killed a BLM protestor. The sate only enforces the law against those they don’t like, and give their christian nationalists a hard pass.
I was afraid. Still am. Basically I learned at a young age expressing my preferred gender would cause me harm, and that it would be terrible if anyone ever found out about it. I was aware that there was something I desperately wanted to feel but was terrified to face or understand it. So I constructed ways to access that feeling in a cheap and pornographic manner that barely satisfied the need. Fortunately I realized I can feel it any time I want by just telling myself, “I’m a girl.” or when people use feminine pronouns. It took me forty years to figure it out.