If you are a trans am you should abstain in the general election. Because you are a car. And cars can’t vote. But I’m sure the supreme court is working on fixing that.

You can tell it is fake because no human would tie up the tent door flaps using the little nylon fettuccine thingies they sew onto each side

I prefer the phrase ‘giving a dump’, because I sure don’t seem to be taking anything away from the transaction.

Alas I have digressed. I too indulged in the literary expositions of the shampoo bottle. Conditioner only on Fridays.

I have become so desensitized to the festering dumpster sludge media that the window treatment shocks me the most in this picture

I operate in el camino reálity. Miss me with that ranchero and canyonero nonsense.

Pre-1980s canvas camping tent … now with more leaks!

If I am not mistaken, according to the grammatical scrolls, having a chin makes everyone … chinese

Yo dawg, we heard you like engine braking so we gave you engine breaking in your engine braking!

See kids, that’s what happens when you brake too hard.

Ok, keep your secrets. I’m just so tired of being a disappointment to others.

Another, there is.

Frakkin Cylons! I knew it!

Say, where can I get some of those square rocks, for uh, reasons?

You may attract python too!

It’s just recliner theater, I tell ya!

Please run for congress. Now.

There is nothing on that seasonal display barge worth 150 dollary-doos. Or is there? What year is it and what’s the inflation rate?

I’m also mildly concerned about the handcuffs in the top-shelf plastic bin.

Where tomatoes?

If that was the one with the built-in sharpener, that kid was ballin’

Why would one ever need to sharpen crayons? Why you ask? Because reasons!

It appears the market has spoken, thus you must clearly upgrade your ring cutting equipment.

That is, unless the poor sap acquired the titanium ring from Boeing or Airbus’ supplier. Then maybe you can use kindergarten stubby scissors.