You didn’t take into account that in this person’s head, all boots are thigh-highs.

Ha! I do the same with sesame chicken or Mongolian beef. Carne asada for Mexican restaurants.

Yes, that is correct.

Sorry, that was a typo. I meant we’re not in control. We as a people. Corporations own the government far more than the people.

We’re in direct control of the people with the most money. The government has lost all control. If it were a corporation, it would have control.

Bullshit. The US is an employee of a corporation of corporations.

Jesus fucking Christ! I saw this as I was at the end of a big drag on my pen and coughed for like 5 minutes. I thought I was gonna die and was totally ok with it.

You could try dressing like a drag Ivanka. He’d come chasing you with tiny groping hands.

Edit: like a tiny, fat orange T-rex.

I would argue it never was. It’s the lowest of Chinese cuisine. Fight me.

These are the scientific questions we really need to be asking. We’ll get our best people on it. The very best, they say. We’ll go hands waving “wifty wifty wifty” and boom, we’ll understand which democrat is on top of this satanic portal situation.

Come on, I’ve apologized for the release of those interdemensional entities so many times. What more do you want from me?!?

Good news! You also don’t need to worry about rent!

Facebook as a product is over. It’s like 90% ads. I almost never see my friends posts anymore.

On impact would be one of the best ways to go on Mars.

See? Even this cow has a better grasp of the English language than trump. “Cows_are_underrated” don’t think I didn’t see through your pro-bovine propaganda.

Yeah if you have a jaw that can be unhinged like a snake.

You think Russia is hard to invade? Try Texas sized Switzerland with bears and moose.

If you didn’t say it, I was going to.

Think sugary wax, or sugary plastic, depending on how old it is.

Black ice is the quick sand of the Midwest.