I’m going all-in on shitpost.

Military personnel are still just people doing the job…just like the rest of us.

Go on…you have my attention…

Ah…thank you! Now we’re in the spirit!

I can’t believe I haven’t seen a “your mom” joke in here yet! WTF people?!? ;D

I love keeping them on the phone as long as possible! It’s damn-near a hobby of mine.

Today I got one I’ve never heard before. They were from the “Automobile Collision” Company that said they have money for me from my accident! I like free money…let’s do this!

They transferred me three times up the chain…final one was their lawyer - that’s where the call dropped. Suffice it to say…I was disappointed to not hear the end.

One of my favorites, in case y’all would like to use it - I claimed (in a Southern drawl) I was an Alligator Hunter…in Nevada. “Business is a bit slow…and I can’t go to the zoo no more.” Kept them on the line for 44 minutes…almost beat my record.

I have yet to meet a dog that doesn’t like Bully Sticks. For the uninitiated, I’d hesitate to look up what they are - you’ve been warned!

If it were American “cheese” he’d be preserved for a millenia!

Damn…I’m going to be getting a lot of dog videos from my parents.