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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: November 8th, 2022

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  • I’ve got alot of people I’ve promised that I won’t off myself. Those promises were mainly what got me through the dark times.

    I set up a plan a while back now. Once I hit an age where I feel pain all the time, I’ll start evaluating whether I’m getting enough enjoyment out of life to continue. If I decide it’s time, I start getting my affairs in order. Getting closure with folks, having some good final talks with folks, giving the advice I can, documenting that I know that I haven’t documented yet, distributing my things, etc.

    At the end of it, if I still feel like going, I’ll get my N2 tank and respirator and find a nice place to sit.

    I’ve given myself 30 years for my first raincheck. Might push it up if things get real bad, but it’s pretty alright ATM so I don’t think I will RN.









  • Saw the aftermath of a pretty bad motorcycle accident, with the rider receiving CPR. It was confirmed later by the news that they didn’t make it. I was stuck at a light and able to see the scene for a few solid minutes, but it really didn’t impact me heavily. Honestly it felt even less relevant than footage I’d seen before since I was having to actually drive and my attention couldn’t be put entirely on the accident.

    In contrast, I was there for a friend putting their dog down. The amount of emotion everyone was going through was much more pronounced - you could physically feel the sadness around you.

    Seeing death always has an uneasy aspect to it, but I think the real impact comes from social ceremony. We choose to feel pain over it as a way to heal, I think.