Scientist, Drummer, Dog Owner person.

  • 2 Posts
  • 96 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 8th, 2023

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  • Recognized that it was part of what makes me successful and learned to control it a little. For example, when I struggled with getting things done on time, I learned to set deadlines for myself and stuck to them. I realized that I work better when I know I’m a little up against the clock, so I kind of built that in for myself. The hard part is the not moving the deadline. You can’t view it as moveable or it doesn’t work.

    I also ask myself “how long is it going to take” and most things if the answer is less than five minutes, I just try to force myself to do it and get it out of the way.

    For other recurring things I do them on a schedule. So like, every weekend there are things around the house I need to do. It doesn’t matter when I do them but I have to get them done the day I say I will. That’s the deal Iake myself and it helps.

    Those are some of my personal hacks. They don’t work for everyone but they work for me.



  • I’m in my late 30s, and I’ve been around the block so I’ll share mine. In terms of worst time being broken up with, that was my last ex prior to my wife, and she did a number on me. It was entirely my fault and all of the red flags were there and I ignored them and she’s a huge cautionary tale that I won’t go into because honestly I don’t like thinking about her. I didn’t really get a say in the breaking up, and looking back I’m so very glad it happened but it still crushed me emotionally for a long time.

    The second, and really the harder of the two, was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It was my longest relationship (4 years) up until my now wife (married 3 years, together 7). I met her in my early twenties. When we both graduated our programs, we’d only been together a little over a year and didn’t plan on staying together. She wasnt sure where she’d do her master’s, I wasn’t sure where I’d be working. As luck would have it though, we both ended up in the same place, and stayed together another three years. The last six months or so of that relationship I realized how completely miserable I was with everything but her. I loved her, I still do to this day and always will, but I hated my job. I hated where I lived. I hated being so far from my family and friends. And it got to a point where I needed to tell her and figure out how to move forward. So after a long work trip I spent 5 days with her and told her how I felt and she understood but she loved it where we were and wanted to stay for her PhD, which would be after another year of her current program…six more years. She was happy where she was and she could see I wasn’t happy and we talked and thought up scenario after scenario before we came to accept that we needed different things…it fuckin hurt man. We knew it couldn’t keep working without someone resenting the other and we realized life was taking us different places. We broke up 2 days in, I spent the rest of the time with her and there were many tears and lots of pain and lots of last moments together that we savored.

    It hurt so badly because nobody did anything wrong. We didn’t stop loving each other, we didn’t stop caring, nobody cheated, we didn’t grow apart so much as life pulled us in different directions. That’s probably what hurt the most, is how much I/we didn’t want to end it, but how we both realized we had to. Life happens and that’s okay, but it hurts sometimes. I am happily married now, and she is too and we’re good friends now. My wife is my best friend and I can’t imagine being with anyone else. I am happy for her and her husband is great and I can see how happy she is. I am not upset with how either of our lives turned out, but I also know there will always be some regret there.


  • Stop talking to people about it? Nobody has ever offered me car advice unsolicited, whether you are doing it consciously or not, you are introducing the topic into conversation and they are providing their 2 cents. At that point it isn’t unsolicited, you have broached a topic where everybody has personal experiences and opinions. Expecting people not to provide their input is unrealistic. So if you want to avoid that, keep the car topic to yourself and don’t mention it.

    Also, idk where you live, but you do not need to haggle at the dealership or with anybody these days. All manufacturers have their trim prices and options available on their website, can ping inventory, and quote delivery timelines to your local dealership if not available in your area. You can buy your car start to finish online, and in many cases have it delivered straight to your house. Most dealers have a completely online sales division now. There are also tons of apps and services that can check inventory, options, and prices without ever speaking to a sales person.






  • That’s fair. Probably not helpful at the moment but i got a sit or stand desk awhile back and it’s terrific. Sometimes I don’t use it enough but recently I saw a video that anything you enjoy sitting you can usually enjoy standing. Like my controller is wireless I can stand instead of sit ony couch. I can eat dinner aty kitchen counter instead of sitting every night. I can have a drink with friends while standing, etc. Even without a standing desk that’s probably true for you as well. If you put on movie or a game stand to watch some of it. It feels weird at first but I stand probably 2/3 of my day now. Try it out!