• NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip
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    8 months ago

    I mean, it is more than a bit sexist but… that is probably the demographic who need to understand this in a college environment.

    Consent is incredibly important and a LOT of media for the past few decades shat on it. No, I don’t (just) mean how basically every movie in the 80s was about raping people. I mean even “Okay, what if we got you/her drunk?” and so forth. I want to say even Friends and Seinfeld played the idea of one of the guys getting their girlfriend drunk for laughs (well, I think Jerry used turkey?).

    Reminding people “that is a crime and you can go to jail” is important… even if people rapidly learn that rich white guys never go to jail.

      • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        People always picture a huge unattractive woman when this gets brought up.

        But one of my college roommates got raped by a girl who was at least “an 8”.

        They had hooked when he was blackout and she was just tipsy. He wanted nothing to do with her tho, and told her that repeatedly. She was just hot, young, and had never been turned down before.

        So like a week later we have a party he’s not at. She showed up early, had two beers, then went to “wait” in his bed. Even though everyone was telling her not to do that.

        When he shows up, still wants nothing to do with her, so just gets blacked out at the party instead of kicking her out of his bed asap. I guess trying to wait her out and hoping she’d eventually give up.

        By the time he finally goes to bed, he’s blacked out and she’s been in there line 6-8 hours and completely sober.

        Next morning she teased him about how they had sex again but he kept falling asleep during it.

        If he was a chick, no one would argue that the second time was rape. Hell, we’d have probably fought a guy if he kept insisting he was going to “wait” in a drunk girls bed who was clear she didn’t want anything to do with him.

        • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.worldM
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          8 months ago

          Yes, it happens, and it can be very emotionally damaging for men too. One of the guys I was talking about was a virgin, and wanted to wait until he was married to have sex. He passed out in a bedroom at a party, and one of the women there stripped him naked, got him hard, and had sex with him. He was only vaguely conscious when this was happening. He had a very difficult time accepting that his years worth of discipline and sacrifice were stolen from him.

      • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.worldM
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        8 months ago

        Drunk people can’t consent, not just drunk women. That’s the point of contention.

        Edit: it’s worth mentioning that there are definitely limits to this statement. If two people at the nightclub have had several drinks and decide to hook up, that’s probably okay. They’re two consenting adults, even though they’re legally drunk. The issue is when one of the people is significantly impaired, to the point where they can’t really think clearly and consent or object. Just having a few beers and fucking isn’t a crime, and anyone who thinks it is is a prude.

        • Chocrates@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          It is nuanced for sure. A married couple can get drunk and have sex and it can be consensual, but it also could not be. And I purposefully didn’t mention gender at all.

          It is a big problem and each instance has its own facts.

        • MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          Because rape means penetration of someone without consent. Assuming Josie probably doesn’t have a penis, it’d be incredibly hard to charge her with rape.

          • 4am@lemm.ee
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            8 months ago

            Not making someone penetrate you without their consent?

            Listening not trying to get all Jordan Peterson “WHATS HAPPENING TO MEN” here, but if it doesn’t cut both ways what are we really doing?

            • MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world
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              8 months ago

              I think for women, it’ll count as sexual assault. I think legally it can be as bad as rape, considering jail time and such. Both are felonies.