Well yeah, greentexts are either boring or fake, that’s why I’m here (where the shittiest ones are filtered out) and not on 4chan. I’m just trying to have some fun with it.

Same. Thinking if a greentext is real or not beats the experience to it. If it isn’t the most absurd thing, probably happened to somebody, maybe not anon. If it is an absurd thing, it could’ve happened to somebody. Ffs, my brother shit himself while driving last week, and there’s probably a greentext about a guy with food intoxication that tried to go home and shat himself while driving.

Sorry babe, can’t make tonight, a random guy on Lemmy asked for a comprehensive guide on how to get high scores

Right, I’m going to preface this by saying that I have ~100 hours in the game, half of which is from the demo, and I’ve only beaten one deck on gold stakes. I’m hardly an expert here

But you want to know how to get consistent high scores? There’s a simple trick, one that not many people talk about:

You can’t get them consistently if you’re not consistent

If you can consistently beat ante 8, then high scores will come with time. But how do you consistently beat ante 8?

By consistently getting a decent start. And how do you consistently get a decent start?

DON’T AIM FOR HIGH SCORES. I’m serious. Never enter a run with the mindset of “I want this specific synergy so I can get a super big score”. That mindset is the run killer. That mindset is how you die at ante 2, wondering where it all went wrong with your vampire and DNA joker, both of which you picked up last shop, spending your entire savings after you refreshed three times.

Aim to get a decent joker that gives some chips or mult that can easily get you through the early game (ante 1-3) (even the base joker can work here), with mid game getting any joker that can scale (ante 3-6) , finishing with the late game (ante 7-8), where you should aim for jokers that synergise with the cards you already have.

Of course, that doesn’t go into specifics, nor does it touch on tarots, planet, spectral cards, or other strategies you can employ.

Just some small things:

First blind can be won with a single decent full house, but if you run higher stakes then it’s worth skipping just to get the tag

You can beat ante 1 without using a single joker pretty easily. If you see shit jokers, know that ante 2 is where you need to pick one of those jokers at the latest

Picking a shit joker early on, if it’s cheap, can actually net you income. By beating blinds with fewer hands used, you can get the money you spent on it back fairly quickly. As an example, the base joker buys for $2 and sells for $1. If you win ante 1 boss with one hand because of it, you just earned ~$2, $3 if you sell it.

Early game, focus on income, but not at the expense of being able to win. Early game, ASAP get $25 up for that sweet juicy $5 a round interest. Of course, as stated above, if you see a joker early that can carry you through the early game, always pick it up. Interest comes second to not losing.

Spectral cards are op, tarot cards are really good (but shouldn’t be relied upon early game), and planet cards are terrible, only good later when you have the money to burn or a joker that works with them. Buffoon and standard packs are weird, use discretion on how your build is going in order to pick one of them up. Avoid early game

Hope this general guide helped. Remember: Aim for winning, not for high scores. High scores come with winning