25+ yr Java/JS dev
Linux novice - running Ubuntu (no windows/mac)

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Joined 1 年前
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Cake day: 2024年10月14日

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  • Uneducated labor isn’t only manual labor. Lot of uneducated folks have mad skills. We’re just not curing cancer or inventing new batteries or planning trips to Mars.

    I’m a technical lead for a software company (that’s not a non-degreed position generally but 30 years of experience can take you far in any field), my wife is a customer service manager / trainer who has presented to a nationwide audience, my oldest daughter is a bank manager.

    My son broke the mold and got a nursing degree and currently makes less working harder than any of us. That said, it was 100% the right choice for him. He has a passion for patient care and I’m sure he’ll go far.



  • My kids are my legacy. Whether that’s positive or negative is up to them at this point.

    Regardless of that, I used to be terrified of dying. When I was younger because I hadn’t experienced or accomplished anything. Heck, George Lucas planned nine Star Wars film’s and I couldn’t die before I’d seen them all! (In retrospect, maybe that wasn’t as important as it seemed at the time.) Getting older it was because my family wasn’t ready.

    Now I’m in my fifties and my body is already falling apart. My dad and father in law are in better physical shape than me due to back and joint issues. My kids are pretty close to self-sustaining — as much as they’ll ever be.

    I’m as immortal as someone without big ambitions can be. I’ll never have a statue or exhibit in a museum or book written about me, but I’d be pretty happy with a park bench in a scenic spot. I don’t want to be buried, but it would be nice to have that as a place anyone who cares to could go and remember me — not some gaudy marble surrounded by death.

    What more could I want other than people who love me and remember me for a time? And between now and the end, I’ve got things to keep me busy. Computer games and learning woodworking. Travel. Continuing to grow as a person. I’m not done living by any means, but I’m okay with dying. I imagine it’ll suck at the time, but all things end. Even the universe.




  • I am monogamous through experience. Early in my relationship with my wife we explored various forms of non-monogamy. I can’t swing. I need an emotional connection before I can bring myself to be sexual with another person. I had two girlfriends, and for the most part I was only comfortable having sex with them in the context of a three-way, while my wife is straight. She likes other women’s bodies, but doesn’t have a desire to go further than touching their boobs or having a BDSM scene.

    She only had one person she was interested in sex with. I was supportive but also didn’t like waiting at home while she went off. Never went further than a handjob because he wasn’t comfortable with the scene.

    We gave it a shot and I’m not interested in pursuing non-monogamy. I’d still let her have a shot, but she’s into perimenopause and I don’t think she is into sex much any more. My dick has always been unreliable and it has gotten even moreso in my fifties.

    I do sometimes wish I had someone to go out with because my wife doesn’t want to really go anywhere or do anything unless it involves getting drunk and country music. But I’m also kinda autistic and my ability to communicate my mind without hurting someone’s feelings is limited. So I just… deal. My life is pretty good even if I dream of something more it’s probably not realistic and definitely not worth risking what I have.




  • Agreed but at some point I am forced to work “at gunpoint” because I have a wife and kids who need a house and food and cars. I’m jealous of anyone in a position to simply quit.

    I work for a company that works for another company in the hospitality industry. The software system is being updated (in part of a much broader system change) to no longer allow non-binary or unspecified gender. We aren’t writing that part, but have to support it. I consider it a shortsighted and cruel change. But I’ve also spent a 7 of the last 30 months looking for work. I’m over fifty and I’m currently trying to build my retirement savings back up from zero after that.

    I’m not walking away just because of this change. Instead I’m making sure our software is easy to change back when world is ready for that once again. That’s the best I can do, and I’ve worked for companies engaged in much greater evil.

    When I got hired on a contract for Uline I’d never heard of them. Then I found out that are huge contributors to the Republican Party and I was glad when they decided to replace me on that contract, but I couldn’t just walk away. That was the most morally conflicted I’ve ever been at a job. But it gave my family the means to thrive, and that is my first goal.